A Flare Of Sorrow Read online

  Thirty minutes.

  Dammit, how long did she have to endure this? I’d never felt so useless in my entire life.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I put it to my ear, keeping my eyes on Haylie all the time.

  “Yeah?”

  “Dylan. How’s it going?” Jimmy asked in a concerned voice.

  “She’s in the Inferno. It’s already been thirty minutes. I don’t know how long it will take.”

  “Dammit. How is she?”

  “She’s been better, but I’ve got it under control.”

  “Will you stay with her?”

  I sighed. “For now, yes.” Was I strong enough to leave when she was begging me to go? “Did you evacuate the adjacent rooms?”

  “Yes. Cole gathered all the Racers, and they took care of it. Sarah and Kim are ready should you need them.”

  “All right, thanks.” I ended the call. Fuck Kim. If anyone put their healing hands on Haylie, it would be Sarah. I’d make sure of that.

  Thirty-five minutes.

  Haylie was weaker now, her screams turning to sobs and whimpers. The knuckles on her hand fisted in the pillow had turned ghostly white. Loosening her curled fingers, I took her hand in mine just for the sake of not being completely helpless. Her response was to grip tighter.

  Forty minutes.

  It was worse than I’d feared. I tried very hard not to lose it because I didn’t know how long Haylie would be able to endure this. Roes were strong, Naturals even stronger, but every human body had its limits. If the fever didn’t stop soon, it could kill her.

  I drenched the towel in water just to keep myself occupied. Another strangled choke escaped her and this time, the entire room started to vibrate as everything standing loosely on the tables toppled over or clattered to the ground. My body hovered over her to shield her should anything fly our way.

  And then her body relaxed, her hand in mine going slack, and the additional weight lifted from my body.

  Forty-three minutes, and it was finally over.

  Haylie huffed like a pregnant woman, her chest rising with each deep breath.

  “Hey, it’s over. You did it.” I smiled at her, glad that she was okay. Her eyes were still caught in the Flare, resembling two glowing orbs of amber in the darkness. “How do you feel?”

  “Pfff…” She waved a hand in the air, but let it fall back again in exhaustion. “Never been better,” she muttered in an attempt to lighten the mood, but her voice was as rough as the one of a chain smoker. I laughed in relief. “How long did it last?”

  “Forty-three minutes.”

  She swallowed hard, wiping two fingers over the corner of her eye where a tear rested. “It felt like forever.”

  “Yes, it did,” I agreed.

  “When will the next phase begin?”

  “Don’t know for sure, but I’d say you have ten to fifteen minutes.”

  Haylie nodded, throwing a hand over her forehead and taking a minute to catch her breath. The air wheezed out of her in rasps, and I stood up to fetch a glass of water. She was too weak to sit up on her own, so I supported her with one hand on her back and put the glass to her lips. She drank greedily with eyes closed.

  And then her hair finally fell forward.

  The sight nearly took my breath away. Haylie had always been the most beautiful woman I’d ever come across, and I’d fantasized about her with her hair freed every night, but my imagination hadn’t done reality justice.

  Her rich, brown hair was like the missing piece in her perfection. It fell like a silky curtain over her shoulder, raining down her back and sides until the tips landed on the bed sheets, the shorter strands in front framing the line from her jaw to her chin. Unfortunately, the dim light in the room dulled the beautiful shades of her tresses. I guessed the sight would be even more breathtaking if sun rays fell on her.

  “Thanks,” she mumbled when she was finished, oblivious to my ogling. She lay back down, bringing me out of my reverie. “Dylan, you really should go,” she said in a steadier tone, taking my hand in hers. I followed the movement with my gaze. “You may be the strongest Fighter, but even you can’t fight gravity.”

  No, I couldn’t leave now. She might need me during the Glaciation, and I couldn’t bear to leave her alone. Lisa’s words crawled back into my mind. “You’re her anchor,” she’d said.

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “Dylan…”

  “Stop arguing, Haylie, please. The Glaciation is just as excruciating as the Inferno. I can help you through it. Please let me,” I nearly begged. Call me weak, but maybe I needed this more than she did.

  She narrowed her eyes, studying me, probably searching for uncertainty, but she would find none.

  “Okay,” she finally gave in. “What will happen next? I kind of forgot.”

  “The opposite—coldness. Your cells and nerves will stabilize and start to cool down. It takes a lot of energy, so your body will run low.”

  It wasn’t as painful as the Inferno, but it also didn’t come in waves, meaning you had to go through the full torture the entire time.

  Which meant forty-three minutes of nearly freezing to death for Haylie.

  “Sounds great,” she muttered sarcastically.

  “I’ll bring another blanket from my room. You might need it.”

  When I came back with the blanket in my hands, Haylie was standing in front of the broken mirror with her face bent close toward the glass.

  “Be careful, there are still shards on the ground.”

  Haylie didn’t comment and continued to stare at her reflection. Tossing the blanket onto the bed, I walked over to her after having a tiny glimpse of her perfect behind in those extremely short pants. I still wasn’t used to her freed hair and fisted my hands to refrain from running them through the silky strands.

  “When will it fade?” she asked quietly, her voice raw. I followed her gaze. She was staring at her eyes still ablaze with the Flare reflecting a brilliance similar to vivid flames.

  “After the Awakening is over.”

  Her eyes met mine in the mirror, a curious expression on her face. “Where did you go through the Awakening?”

  “Umm, in a motel.” I’d never told anyone about it, but I knew Haylie needed to hear it. She didn’t have any reference to hold on to.

  “Really?” She seemed surprised, the corner of her lip curling into a smile.

  “Yeah. A headache hit me on the highway, and I stopped at the next motel. I gave the receptionist a really hard time. The pain was so excruciating by then that I punched a dent in the counter before she finally gave me the fucking keys.”

  I chuckled at the memory but skipped the part where I’d clamped my hand around the poor girl’s throat after she’d needed an endless amount of time to type everything into her computer.

  “How long did the phases last?”

  “For about thirty minutes,” I answered, not missing how Haylie took a deep breath to gather courage. “Come on now, you need to lie down. The Glaciation could start any second.” I put one hand on her elbow.

  “Everyone else is safe?” she asked when lying down, throwing the blankets over the lower part of her body—much to my relief. Or disappointment?

  “Yes. This part of the compound is empty. You don’t need to worry about them.”

  Her gaze grew more intense, if that was even possible. I could tell she was trying to read my mind, wondering why I was risking so much for her. “Did you find me here?”

  “Cole and I did. A few of us tripped over our own feet passing your room. After the camera outside flickered, we put two and two together.” Thinking about it, it was funny that Cassie had been the one to figure it out. If it hadn’t been for her, who knew when we would have found Haylie?

  “I’m sorry. I hope no one got hurt.”

  “As far as I know, Scott and Josh made a gorgeous face-plant in the hallway.”

  Haylie chuckled, and I laughed with her. It was good she hadn’t lost h
er humor.

  She shivered slightly and drew the blankets tighter around her. “I think it’s starting.”

  Walking over to the heater in the corner, I turned it on before sitting down on the bed next to her. After a few minutes, Haylie snuggled deeper into the blankets and curled up into a ball.

  “You’re good?”

  “Yeah, just getting really cold.”

  I watched while she lay there curled up like a fetus, eyes shut. The worst phase was over, but she still had nearly two hours of torture to endure.

  I wondered what it would be like for her when the Awakening was over. What would she be able to do? To what level would her power expand?

  An enormous shiver overcame her, causing her to whimper, and I rubbed a hand over her arm in an attempt to warm her up. Actually, I’d promised myself to leave after the Inferno, but apparently, that plan had failed.

  Shit, Lisa was right. Haylie needed me to get her through this. No one should go through the Awakening alone, least of all her. It had been different for me. I’d known what to expect, had known pain all my life, had even welcomed it.

  Haylie’s teeth started to clatter, and her body tensed all over. Ten minutes had passed, and she still hadn’t reached the high of phase two.

  A sudden noise next to me made me whirl around. The lamp that had fallen to the ground earlier was now hovering at bed level as if kept in the air by invisible strings. All of a sudden, I felt lighter, my movements slow and sluggish as if I was wading through water. I knew what was happening—Haylie had subconsciously switched her power in the other direction.

  Placing my hands protectively around her, I scooted closer in case the lamp decided to hit us. Haylie shivered uncontrollably, and I brushed the strands of hair falling into her face behind her ear. She was pale as a sheet. Even her usual lush crimson lips had turned purple.

  Fifteen minutes.

  Another whimper came from her as her teeth chattered so hard, her skull rattled. The air she exhaled came out in trembling huffs, and I could tell she struggled to keep breathing. Her skin was already ice cold.

  “Haylie,” I murmured, hoping for a reaction that told me she was okay, but she didn’t manage more than a rattled moan. The whole bed vibrated from her shivers. Even the levitating lamp trembled in its suspended state as if feeling her pain.

  When I heard another feeble choke, it was more than I could bear. I wasn’t that helpless now.

  “Fuck,” I cursed quietly, grabbing the collar of my shirt and yanking it over my head. A Fighter’s body temperature was higher than the average due to better blood circulation. Maybe I could ease her pain.

  Peeling Haylie’s ice-cold fingers from the blankets, I lifted it to snuggle in next to her.

  I swallowed hard when I realized what I was about to do, and what it would do to me, but I tried not to think too much about it. I was just doing it to help her. Nothing more.

  Haylie cried out when I moved the blankets she’d used to create her warm cocoon. Quickly covering both of us with them, I draped one arm under her neck and the other over her shoulders, pulling her as close as possible in her curled-up state—her knees drawn close to her chin and poking into my stomach.

  She groaned as I moved her, her muscles too tense to do anything else than cramping. Her cold, clammy forehead came into contact with my collarbone, sending a shudder through me. Then, Haylie’s fisted hands uncurled, and she rested them, palms flat, on my chest. This time, I shuddered for another reason entirely, and Haylie let out a relieved moan when she felt my warmth.

  We were so close. Too close…

  Twenty minutes.

  Her breath caressing my neck was so cold, it felt as if she’d downed a bucket of ice cubes. Her fingers clawed into my skin as she kept trembling uncontrollably, and I tightened my hug.

  When my body heat started to seep into her, the tension in her limbs slowly loosened, and one leg snaked in between mine, desperate to touch as much of me as possible. Soon, her torso followed, uncurling and scooting forward until her hip bone pressed against mine. She snuggled her head deeper into the hollow of my neck, her lips resting on my collarbone.

  It was pure bliss and bittersweet torture at the same time. I snaked my arms around her, crossing them over her shoulder blades to shield her from the cold. My hand brushed through her hair—from her forehead all the way down through the strands until reaching the tips. I’d wanted to do this for so long… Haylie wouldn’t complain. Not now. She probably didn’t even realize what I was doing.

  Thirty minutes.

  Her lips were still glued to my collarbone, and each cold breath rattled over my sensitive skin. Her body continued to tremble in my arms, and it was starting to torment certain manly parts of my body, especially as her leg, still nestled between mine, scooted up until it reached my crotch. I tried my best to ignore the fact that not much fabric separated us. My upper half was naked while her legs were bare. Thank God, I’d kept my jeans on.

  Finally, the trembling eased off, her breathing became regular, and her body sagged against mine in exhaustion.

  I glanced at my watch. Thirty-nine minutes. Was it already over? Strange. Usually, every phase lasted exactly as long as the one before. Haylie’s breath became shallower, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’d fallen asleep.

  “Haylie?” I whispered into her ear, continuing to comb my hands through her hair.

  No response. Not even a whimper.

  Taking her face into my hands, I lifted it gently. She was hardly breathing anymore.

  “Haylie?” I put two fingers against her artery. Her pulse was too low, her heart beating weakly in her chest. “Haylie, wake up, come on,” I urged, shaking her.

  Her face was so white and her lips so blue, she looked as if she’d fallen into a frozen lake. If she didn’t wake up soon, her organs would fail.

  “No, no, no…” Close to a heart attack, I rolled her onto her back and clamped two fingers over her nose. Opening her mouth, I gave her artificial respiration in an attempt to get hot air into her lungs.

  After several attempts, urgent pleas, and losing my mind, I finally heard a soft moan from her lips. Never had something sounded so wonderful.

  One finger started to twitch. Her breathing became deeper. Her pulse grew stronger where my fingers were still pressed against her throat. Then, her eyelids finally fluttered open revealing the jaylior-glowing orbs behind.

  The floating lamp rattled back to the ground with a loud bang. Thank God, it had already driven me nuts.

  “What happened?” Haylie asked in confusion, her voice unsteady. Her lips were slowly shading from purple to red again.

  “You…” Nearly died on me, I wanted to say, but figured it would only add to her fear. “… passed out.”

  She frowned at me leaning half on top of her, and slowly lifted a hand to her lips. Touching them with her fingertips, she retraced their line with her tongue as if tasting something. My eyes were glued to the movement. I just needed to dip my head an inch to—

  “You revived me,” she stated, her voice laced with awe. Did she taste me on her?

  “Yeah,” I croaked. I was too bewildered to say anything else. Fuck. If I hadn’t insisted on staying with her, she could have died without anyone noticing. And I would have died with her…

  A sheen of tears welled up her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall. Instead, she gave me a heartbreaking smile. “Thank you.” I just nodded, my eyes again riveted on her lips where her fingers still rested. “I’m sorry about groping you,” she muttered, and her embarrassed expression made me laugh.

  “I think there are worse things than being touched by a beautiful girl you’re spending the night with, you know.”

  Haylie gave me a crooked smile in response, one of the kinds that always made me want to throw her against a wall, kiss her senseless, and rip the clothes off her body. Not necessarily in that order…

  Haylie hissed through her teeth, flexing her fingers in front of her
face.

  “Are you hurt?” I asked in alarm.

  “No, just relishing in the feeling of having my blood running through my fingers again.”

  She put her hand under the blankets to warm it up, then turned her head to look at me. I was still cuddled against her, but she didn’t seem to mind, so I didn’t bother to move.

  “Dylan?” she asked tentatively, and I exhaled, knowing what she was asking and dreading where this was headed.

  “Yeah?”

  “You know what’s going to happen next…”

  I eyed her closely, desperate to get a glimpse of what she was thinking. Was she disgusted by the thought of me staying? Or maybe excited? Did she even consider it? Or were her words a way of giving me a cue to leave?

  “Do you want me to leave?” I countered just as quietly. I had no idea what to do if she answered with yes—it would be a rejection in so many ways.

  It was her decision to make, and it would never cross my mind to force her, but the previous minutes were proof of how much she depended on me. She needed my protection.

  “Uhm,” she started and cleared her throat. “Wow, this is a hard question.”

  I chuckled. “You just need to say ‘yes’ or ‘no.’”

  But of course, we both knew it was far more complicated. Still, the fact that she was considering what to answer made my heart flutter.

  “Yes,” she finally whispered, her voice barely audible but loud enough to drop a stone into my stomach.

  I shouldn’t have been surprised. What had I expected? That she wanted me to stay, watching her Revival while she got the ride of her life?

  “And no,” she carried on, causing my eyes to snap in her direction.

  She played absently with the bracelets on her wrist—a sign that she was nervous. Lifting my hand, I took hers in mine. My thumb trailed to where the bracelets hid the scars underneath.

  This was my chance to get close to her—not just physically. This was my chance to get her to open up to me.

  “What are you thinking?” I asked softly, continuing to make soothing circles with my thumb on her wrist, feeling every faint line of damaged skin there. “Come on, tell me,” I urged her on after she bit her lip, uncertain about how much to reveal. I needed to know about her doubts so I could eliminate them. “There’s no one else within a two-hundred-yard radius. No Catcher will overhear you. It’s just you and me. And whatever will happen tonight stays between us. Whatever you need to tell me, whatever doubts you have, say it.”